i'll knit if i want to...or not

So this use to be my knitting blog, now its a purging place for all of my ramblings...whether it be craft, cooking, or just the craziness of my everyday life!

Monday, May 08, 2006

the Curse of Confidence


Ah confidence...it seems like everyone always has too much or not enough. Can't it just be spread around equally?? I personally am severely lacking. Sometimes after I have a good long chat to myself (you know the usual "you're fine just the way you are, love yourself - flaws and all!") then I feel good, for a little while. I have a very contorted image of myself. So I try to keep this in mind as I peer into the mirror and "love my curves!" But then of course that little evil voice in the back of my head says "eheh...that'd be a lot easier if those curves were in the right places!"....

now don't worry, this isn't a rant complaining about my poor self-image, I actually do have a point...I am only mentioning my tortured relationship with the mirror because I am finding it hindering in the ways of knitting. I see a sweater or top or any garment really and first thing I try to do is picture it on me instead of the mannequin shaped girl in the magazine. and by now i pretty much know what I can pull off and what I can't. So I decide to do the project and i am so excited, visions of granduer (aka me looking fabulous in my handmade top)...and I begin working away. But the farther along I go, the more worried I get. What if it doesn't fit right? Excencuates all the wrong areas?? Worry begins to plague me more and more with each stitch i knit. Its not like at the store where you just try it on and if it puckers funny or hugs a bit too tightly you toss it into the "not in a million years pile" and move on to the next item. But when making it yourself you put your feelings, time, and money into it.

*sigh* ok so i am being a bit dramatic. and i love the thrill of it just as much as i hate it. if i only wanted to make surefire things i would just stick to mittens and scarves and toys, right? but you have to branch out, right?? You've finally just got to look in the mirror and say "i love me for me, whether this sweaters looks good or not." right?

**the picture up there^^^that is the cute little lamb we saw on our walk to the lake for our afternoon tea. isn't he adorable?? i love him...and his gimply little leg in the back there. i bet he has no confidence issues. He just trotted along with his not so perfect hind leg and munched away on grass.

3 Comments:

At 5:10 AM, Blogger Saskia said...

imagine... I din't even SEE the 'not so perfect'leg untill you mentioned it. And I bet that's how it works a lot of the times...

 
At 12:57 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lol I didn't notice it either! Maybe the little lamb is going to grow into his leg. *nods* Yeah, I think he will.

I get the same way when I knit clothes for me to wear- (check out my pics on my blog... the stipped tanks didn't turn out. '>.>) We'll get past it someday!

 
At 12:34 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ang- You are soooo photogenic and beautiful. And I know for a fact that you're even prettier on the inside. Did I mention creative and talented? Image, shmimage. ENJOY WHO YOU ARE! You are a gift to all who know you....

dad

 

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